


The MacGuffin

by kethni



Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sickfic, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 02:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10710297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kethni/pseuds/kethni
Summary: Kent stood next to Ben. Selina saw his eyes get big. What the fuck was he staring at? What could possibly be so fucking alarm... oh Jesus.





	The MacGuffin

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to Veeple for the request.

The leader of the free world, knelt carefully, and vomited copiously in the lavatory. She moaned between spasms and slapped at Kent’s legs.

‘Do you want me to let go of your hair?’ he asked.

‘No!’

‘They will you please stop striking me?’

‘No!’

She was squeezing out bile now, but that wasn’t having any effect on her retches. She wrapped her arms around the toilet seat and rested her head on her arms.

‘Water?’ Kent offered.

He stepped away. Then she heard him leave the room.

‘Hey!’ she whined, and then moaned quietly as her stomach spasmed. ‘Oh God.’

Kent put his hand on the shoulder. She looked up. He put the glass to her lips and helped her sip.

She gulped, and then her face twisted. ‘Why does it taste like seawater?’

‘I had to put a little salt in it,’ he said.

‘Are you trying to –’ she heaved again, ‘trying to kill me?’

He frowned. ‘You are losing both water and salt.’

‘What I’m losing is the will to fucking live,’ she growled.

Kent squatted beside her. ‘Do you think you’ve finished?’

Selina rubbed heavy perspiration from her brow. ‘Yeah, for now.’

He nodded. ‘Let’s get you back to bed.’

Selina bared her teeth. ‘I am not walking and you cannot fucking make me.’

‘You insist on being needlessly dramatic.’ He scooped her up in his arms, ignoring her grunt, and carried her into the bedroom.

‘Can you jostle me less?’ she growled.

‘Not unless I don roller skates and have giant fans blow me across the room,’ he said tartly.

‘You can fucking blow me,’ she muttered, as he put her down on the bed.

‘No thank you,’ he said. ‘I have no desire to become infected and, additionally, you’ve been perspiring quite freely.’

‘Asshole,’ Selina grumbled.

Kent brushed hair from her damp forehead. ‘Is there anything else that you need?’

‘Why’re you saying it like that?’ she asked suspiciously.

He gave her a silently questioning look.

‘Like you’re going to fuck off and leave me alone.’

Kent straightened his shirt. ‘I have to go home, get changed, and come back to work. I have less than two hours before a campaign meeting.’

Selina closed her eyes.’ Meeting’s cancelled. There. Easy.’

‘It’s not a meeting with you.’

She forced open an eye. ‘Why are you having a campaign meeting without me?’

He shook his head. ‘I have dozens of meetings without you. Do you wish to sit and listen to debates about the paper stock for posters or the particular details of a poll done on a potential television ad? You’re more than welcome to.’

‘Urgh! No.’ She coughed to clear her throat. ‘Carmody!’

The door opened and a secret service man entered. If he had any opinion on Selina, pale and shaking, lying sprawled in bed, then he kept it to himself.

‘Carmody, can you send someone to pick up a fresh shirt and suit for Kent?’

Carmody glanced at Kent: a quick, calculating look. Then he nodded.

‘See,’ Selina said. ‘Problem solved.’

After a moment, her eyes turned glassy.

Kent grabbed a small waste bin and handed it to her.

‘I’m going to find out who gave me this bug, and I’m gonna kill them,’ she said, and threw up yet again.

***

It had been nearly a year since they had bickered and argued into bed. He didn’t expect much from her, and she hadn’t the time or energy to ask much from him beyond orgasms and discretion. The bickering came for free, as did the odd back rub that he offered when she was particularly tired or sore.

Gary was suspicious. He had a sixth sense when it came to Selina taking a shine to someone. Thank Christ that Kent didn’t change his manner a goddamn inch. If Gary figured anything, it was probably that she was running hot for Kent. That wasn’t much better than the truth.

Now she had a roomful of people pretending not to be grossed out by the lingering scent of sweat and vomit. What a glamorous life it was at the White House.

Kent returned from his meeting. Technically he wasn’t supposed to be involved in administration stuff. The campaign and the administration staff were supposed to be completely separate, but she only had one Sue and she only had one Kent. She wouldn’t admit it on pain of pain, but they were pretty much carrying everyone else.

Kent stood next to Ben. Selina saw his eyes get big. What the fuck was he staring at? What could possibly be so fucking alarm... oh Jesus.

Kent’s shirt. The one he’d been wearing yesterday. It was hanging up on the bathroom door. It was in full view of the entire room. Could she pretend it was a blouse? Fuck, no. That was stupid.

‘Ma’am?’ Ben said. ‘What do you think?’

She felt the familiar metallic taste on her mouth.

‘I think I’m gonna throw up so you should...’ She tried to dive across the bed, but only managed a lurch. She fell forward, face-planted on the bed, raised herself up, and vomited on Jonah.

‘Oh shit,’ Mike moaned.

Gary made a wordless, unpleasantly biological noise.

They both dived for the bathroom, slamming into the door, and knocking down the shirt. Jonah was frozen, horrified into inaction.

‘You are dripping on the floor,’ Kent said. ‘Take off your vest, you imbecile.’

‘Are they okay?’ Richard asked, gesturing to the bathroom.

‘Yeah, it’s the smell,’ Ben said, ducking down to pick up the shirt. ‘Sometimes it makes people puke.’

‘I don’t think the aroma is that bad,’ Richard said. ‘There are some cheeses that smell worse.’

‘It’s the association, not the aroma,’ Kent said. He gave Selina a handkerchief and a bottle of water. ‘The hypothesis has been made that one person purging causes others to purge as an evolutionary tactic to prevent the entire tribe eating poisonous materials.’ He scowled at Jonah. ‘Roll up the affected clothes and dispose of them.’

‘Jump to it,’ Ben said.

Jonah loped out with Richard following.

‘I wouldn’t have missed that for a bottle of Scotch,’ Ben said cheerfully. ‘If I’d known it was going to happen I would have recorded it on my cell.’

‘Dan and Amy will regret being absent,’ Kent agreed.

Selina glowered at them both. ‘I feel like I licked death’s asshole and you two are making jokes about the fact that I threw up?’

‘I didn’t precisely –’ Kent began.

‘Shut up! Jesus! I am the president, I am your boss, and more than that, I am a woman. Is a little human compassion too much to fucking ask for?’

They hung their heads like naughty schoolboys. Mike crept back in the bedroom. Gary could still be heard throwing up.

‘Is there anything that you need, Ma’am?’ Kent asked meekly.

She lay back against her pillows. ‘Just get the fuck out, all of you. Don’t take that, Ben, Jesus, put it back.’

He put the shirt back on the door.

Selina closed her eyes. Great, she thought. Fat fucker didn’t even notice it was Kent’s shirt.

As she let out a deep breath and exhaustion clawed her down into the abyss, she heard Mike say, ‘Do you think she knows she’s talking out loud?’

 

 

 

 


End file.
